Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Fucked up the ass!

Have you ever thought about doing it yourself? I find doing it to a guy or watching a guy do it to himself is a MAJOR turn on for me.I'm talking, of course, about anal sex. Strap on play!

Butt sex, sodomy, buggering, taking it up the poopshoot, going in the out door, poking out your brown eye, sitting on it, rag time blues, Greek sex, and even rimming, fingering, fisting and plugging.

I want to be very clear. You've heard about the nerve endings, yes? How they say there are thousands and thousands there, making that area extremely sensitive? Well apparently what they say is true!

OK, first off, you're gonna need lube. I recommend any thicker lube, such as EROS or FORPLAY, will do. The thicker lube will stay put; the anal canal extends further than the area you'll be using. If you're playing alone, it doesn't matter whether or not your lube is latex safe, but I say be prepared for that from the start, and make your investment in a water-based lube.

SOLO PLAY You're also going to want something to penetrate with. At first, your finger will work fine, assuming you're reasonably flexible. Novices should cut their nails down, as the anal tissue is fragile and can snag painfully. Household items can be used, but be warned that it is possible to get things lost up there, should you lose your grip.

Butt plugs and other anal toys have a flared base to make sure they don't slip inside. If you find you like the sensations, it's really worth investing in a well-made butt plug. Start small and work your way up. Butt plugs and probes almost always come in a menagerie of shapes and sizes, and tend to be rather cheap. $14.00 - $25.00 max.

We'll talk about the differences between these toys later. Here's where I mention showers. If you're afraid of, well, shit, then be sensible and shower first. If you've recently bathed, there's nothing really that dirty about it. You'll get to know your body, and eventually can predict when will be a good time for anal play. And even if you do get it on your fingers, trust me, slave boy, you'll live.

Ok, ok, here's a hint: latex gloves. You can get them cheaply, in bulk, at your local drugstore, usually near the condoms and pregnancy tests. They're cheap, reasonably thin, and make clean-up a breeze. Pull them off over your fingers, and everything that was on your fingers is safely within the glove. Get yourself comfortable in the place you usually masturbate (if you don't masturbate and would like to know how, then send us mail and let us know - for now, this is an advanced course).

In fact, start masturbating the way you usually go about it, let yourself become turned on and comfortable. Start walking your fingers back there. Try lying on your side in a half fetal position, with your top arm falling behind you. Use that hand to explore your hips and buttocks. Start tracing the cleft between the cheeks, increasing pressure, lingering at your anus, whatever starts to feel good. Even if you're not wanting to penetrate yet, spread a little lube on your fingers and circle your hole with them. Vary the amount of pressure you use, breathe evenly and relax.

Pay attention to how it's feeling, try new variations and find which is the most tingly and exciting. As you circle, start to press in a little harder. Let the tip of your finger scoop between the ring of muscle, breathe into the sensation.

Resist the natural reaction of clenching your cheeks at this initial entry; try to think of them as loose and open. It's very encouraging for your fingers if your body starts to press back, to open to their massage. As you get better at this, let your finger slide up inside. (You'll want to angle most penetrations away from the spine). Circle just inside the sphincter, feeling the walls of your anus and the unique texture there. Here's where you meet those thousands of nerve endings. Push in deeper, letting yourself rock back to meet the probing.

If you have a toy, now might be a good time to try it out. There are two standard small anal toys: plugs and probes. A probe is usually about 4-6 inches long, slender and tapered so it's narrower when you start. A plug has a large bump in the middle, with a narrow neck right before the flared base. This bump will (usually) hold the plug inside you without a harness. You'll want to cover it with a condom or, since most butt plugs and probes are small, a latex glove. This makes for easy clean up later, and gives your toys a longer life.

Put some lube on the tip, and line it up with your anal opening. Move the tip in and out, circling like you did with your finger. Again, push back to meet it, open to the sensation. If you get in all the way, pushing slowly and working your way back, you might want to leave it there for a bit. Relax your body and gently acknowledge the sensation of penetration. If it's feeling good, try clenching and releasing your sphincter around it.

Pull "up" with that ring of muscle; open your butt to the plug and try to pull it further inside you. Rock back and forth; play with your clit or penis or whatever feels good. Keep rocking and/or pulsing and resume your other masturbation. Try rotating the plug around without withdrawing it. As you get more comfortable, you'll want to work the plug or probe in and out, circling on penetration to increase the amount of friction. Come, or not.


OK, so here's your task. Go to and pick out a butt plug or an anal probe. Start small, unless you've done this before. Don't forget about lube!

Email me at to tell me that you've placed your order, and to give me your phone number. If you have a butt plug or a good cucumber already, then just pick up a $50 gift certificate at Attitudes Boutique.

Once you have both of your items, (the veggie, or butt plug, and the lube) drop me a line, and I'll give you a ring, and talk you through using it. I want to hear you slipping and sliding it around your ass, and I want to hear your intake of breath as it slides inside your warm tight asshole.

If you have a webcam, even better!

Let's get going...Got it? I'll be expecting that call.

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