Friday, September 29, 2006

Knitting? Me? No way!!

Someone posted a comment asking if spinning, was knitting! I'm definitely not ashamed to say, that in my first year of home economics in high school, I demanded that they move me to woodworking class with all the boys instead. I refused to learn how to hem skirts (although the first week that I did have to endure the home ec class, I successfully hemmed up my school uniform skirt, to way above my knee, and way above the allotted "required skirt length" that they demanded). That was my one and only attempt at any kind of sewing or knitting. While I was using really cool things like hacksaws in woodworking, my friends were "knitting" scarves for their grannies, and tea cosies for their mums. I made a rather cool clock, which I later on my own time stained, and jazzed up with rhinestones (I kid you not, and it was the 80's)...

I have NEVER in my life picked up a set of knitting needles, nor have I ever sewn a button. I am NOT a domestic goddess by any stretch of the imagination, unless you can count whipping up an occasional batch of hash brownies for a party ;-) while dressed to thrill.... Ooooh, and I am quite good at coming up with funky drink specials, and I've been told that my cosmo's would pass at any upscale martini bar! I am excellent however at telling other people (men in particular) how to be domesticated. Olivia is a prime example. She's a wiz in the kitchen, always sews on buttons for me, and has taken in, and up many pairs of pants for me. She's also a culinary genius, and knows how to get any stain, out of anything. She sucks at woodworking.

As for spinning - do you mean like rapunzel? Didn't she spin her hair into gold or something like that? I definitely have NEVER even seen one of those contraptions, much less used one & if you mean that, you must be from a different generation!

My spinning is an intense cardio workout, that burns upwards of 700 calories per hour, and during which time you cycle yourself lean & mean! I load up my IPOD with over an hours worth of music, most of which is with beats per minute of over 180. Some day's its disco fever, other days it's dance club mixes, and sometimes even trance/rave music. The lights are off, the disco ball is spinning, and there is a really cool mural done in black light kinda paint that makes it look like we're riding through this really cool landscape at night. When we increase the tension to move to hills/mountains we slow the music down with some R&B and climb climb climb, sometimes sitting, sometimes standing, until our glutes are burning! If your gym offers spinning classes, I suggest you try it. The first few classes will kill you, but don't quit.. keep pushing, and you'll become addicted. I'm completely addicted. In fact even after I get done teaching my own classes, I come in on Sunday's on my only day off, and take another trainer's spin class!

When I travel, the first thing I look for is a club that offers advanced spinning classes, where I can buy a day pass to, even before I look for a hotel. Years and years ago, I thought I was addicted to body building and strength training, and sure it made my bod look totally buffed - but my actual fitness level was quite crap - it totally didn't get my heart rate over 180 ever, and I certainly never sweated buckets. My recovery time is literally less than 5 seconds now, proving that my heart is in the best shape ever.

I also teach an aerobic strip class, and a class that's similar to tae-bo - only we can't call it that. I also have about 100 clients that I see a month for individualized training, where I teach them the basics of nutrition, cardio, strength training, and core workouts. Probably of that 100, 40 are men, of various ages, and in various stages of fitness. I actually for the first time ever, want to chuck a client this week - this guy is weird -- in an odd way -- not weird/quirky like me. First time he came for a session, he came dressed for a round of golf, or a day out at the mall - I kid you not. No workout clothes, brown shoes, matching socks, long pants, and a golf shirt... I was a little taken aback. That hour working out was the weirdest I've spent in a really long time. He kept smashing the weights down - because he couldn't control his movements - and when I told him to lower the weight for better control, he laughed at me. He spent more time talking about the bizarrest stuff, rather than working out, and every time I brought him back to a new machine, to show him how to use it, he'd stare off into space, or yammer on excessively. In an hour I normally get a lot accomplished - with him, barely nothing, and he was just not getting it. I took him to my office and explained that I'm a pretty hard core trainer, and that he might be better suited to one of the younger (less experienced) trainers (obviously he'd not listened to me during our initial 1/2 hour consultation). Also during that time I had a difficult time understanding what his goals were. However, he paid in advance for 12 sessions with me ($960.00 - which is a lot of cash to drop if you're not really serious..... right)?

So today we had our second session -- he showed up in a yellow t-shirt, denim shorts, and his brown work shoes, with long brown socks. BTW - he's like in his late 30's probably. I spent another half hour talking to him about his goals, and from what I can gather, he would like to lose 10lbs (but he could really stand to lose about 40lbs) and he'd like to get stronger... he wants to focus mostly on weights. I figured the only way to lose this guy as a client was to be a complete bitch -- which I'm the best at. I told him that I needed him to commit to 5 days a week, not 1 day a week. I told him that today we'd do cardio to see where he is, so I got him onto the treadmill, and showed him how to set it up. I started him at 3.0, and you'd have thought I'd asked him to sprint a marathon. He kept yakking about how easy of a run this was, and how I must be trying to punish him by starting him out "way up here".... I explained that 3.0 is really a stroll - no need for running - and that it's like a 25 minute mile - which is not good. I also told him that as I adjusted his incline and his speed, I didn't want him to talk, just drink, concentrate, and work as hard as he can. 11 minutes in, at 3.3 with a 2% incline he was dying, and had had enough. I think he may have aspergers syndrome or something -- he's just outta this planet weird. (I'm not saying that everyone with autism, highly functioning or not, is weird by the way -- just this guy). That hour was the longest hour ever. I don't know how much more of him I can take. Yet again today he was smashing the weights like crazy -- kinda like a child would do, because he loves the noise it's making....??? I'm dreading Monday... and as someone who up until this past weekend hadn't drank in a few months -- I seriously need a cosmo, or a glass of wine.

I took the other guy from my spin class to his company get together this past Saturday night -- it was actually a lot of fun. He's intelligent, cleaned up well (after I put him together), and was charming and made me laugh. His bosses certainly knew how to party -- alcohol at the bar was free until midnight & I had at least 4 glasses of red wine. After the first I was buzzed, by the 3rd I'm surprised I hadn't taken off any clothes, or the clothes off of someone else! Everyone there was totally wondering who I was, and how we'd met, and we were truthful to a point saying that we have been working out together 4 times a week for quite some time and had recently started dating!

I slept in his car the whole way home. I slept in his guest room, because I'd driven myself to his place to help him get put together, and fell asleep in my dress, minus my shoes which he'd kindly removed for me. I woke up the next morning to breakfast in bed! This guy is good.. and he's not had any training! He'd cut up mangoes, strawberries & an apple, and made a whole wheat waffle which was delicious.

As I hadn't anticipated not going home, I hadn't brought anything with me, so I'm sure I looked frightful, leaving in my red evening gown, barefoot with my shoes in my hand, and my hair unpinned in places -- luckily I didn't have to stop on my drive home! Sunday was a totally lazy day for me - I actually had a hangover, from my lack of drinking recently, so I lazed around all day long. It was quite nice for a change!

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