OK this was a post from my yahoo group that I thought was worth reposting:
I have to say I loved reading this post, it hit close to home in a few ways. I originally stopped doing pro-domme sessions because it was wearing me out - 3, 4, 5, 6, guys a day, fulfilling fantasies for each of them, and yes in the beginning it was a matter of they're paying, they've told me up front what they're into, and so I'm going to incorporate that into a mind blowing session for them...
Great session = happy customer = happy customer = repeat business..
But can you imagine being that creative every day, several times a day? I was always trying to one up myself... something even hotter next time.
Then came the burnout... I mean for you your fantasy is hot if you do it once, twice, three times maybe even more.. but imagine me fulfilling a fantasy several times over each time you come -- it was doing my head in. I'd want to branch out, and take things further, but at the same time, you have a guy who is sometimes VERY SPECIFIC in his needs/desires. So I quit.
I originally got started in this business at 17/18 as a fantasy fulfillment specialist type of a deal at first answering the phones, and booking the appointments, and then being an "apprentice" to a dominatrix. Then I came here and started my own business...
As time wore on though, and I got older, and explored my own sexuality more and more I found that it was really turning me on to be in charge & have my own fantasies fulfilled... trying to match these up with a client, was difficult. But I missed it a lot. The money is also a big factor. At my peak I was bringing in almost a couple of grand cash a day... so I decided to start back up, but my way this time..
I started turning down a lot of business where the client had a script. I'd be very up front and explain that if they wanted to come, and have a session, here's what would probably take place.. if they thought they could handle that, then great. If not, then move on. For the client, this is more of a gamble. What if I have no imagination. What if the session I have envisioned and planned out is nothing like their fantasy? SO now my sessions were like 1 a day - a lot less money, but much more about me. After a couple of years though, you just lose the desire to play every day. And my fantasies had changed even more. I wanted the real deal. The real slave fantasy, where they lived, and served me 24/7.
That's where the slave academy came in. I realized that over the years there were more than several clients that I had turned into my personal slaves, they totally gave up their entire way of living, thinking, and fantasizing for mine. It was brainwashing 101. So I invited 8 slaves to live at my place, and over the course of the next year and a half, I trained them in exactly every way I imagined someone would want a live in slave to be. They turned over everything to me. Two of them left their wives for me. It was an amazing experience, and one that I actually would like to repeat.
I don't know if it was in this post or another that I skimmed over, but it was talking about in addition to paying for your session, bringing a tribute/gift with you. I have to say that the slaves that I got really close to were the type of men that upon arrival for the session, they'd bring me something special. It started out with maybe just flowers, or a nice box of candy, or a gift certificate to V.Secret... but it makes a difference. They went the extra mile, and I'd never watch the clock with those guys.
Of course after a session or two, they'd learn things that I liked, or looked around and could tell that I was into certain things, and they'd bring those as gifts. That's really thoughtful, and says a lot about the type of man you are. I honestly believe men that are willing to go the extra mile, really make the better slaves. Guys that just wanted their kink fulfilled couldn't care less, and thought plunking down their hard earned cash, earned them the right to be in my presence... and have their fantasy fulfilled right down to showing up with a script in hand.
I'm SO NOT INTO the safe word bullshit thing. The whole safe, sane, consensual thing kinda cracks me up.. there's really nothing safe, or sane about what it is I do... if you don't trust that I'm not going to kill or maim you, then we don't need to play together at all... not even just a little bit...
Must admit I've often tried to picture what it must be like to be a prodomme - I guess the danger is it can become just like any other job in some ways i.e. a bit mundane and samey and that must be particularly hard if you are a genuine Domme because it must impact on your enjoyment of your private sessions I would guess?> >
If you're not a genuine Domme and it's just like any other way of making a living and paying the bills then I guess you are more prepared to put up with the crap that comes with any job.> >
From the subs point of view a session with his dream Mistress is like one of his favourite fantasies coming to life and his expectations are typically incredibly high and often incredibly unrealistic because of that. So the pressure on a conscientious Domme to make every session extra special must be intense and that must be very draining.
I'm sure it doesn't enter the head of many subs that their ProDomme Goddess might well have done 4 sessions already that day, be behind with the rent and have a stinking headache. In his eyes she is there for him alone, nothing else exists for that hour or two, and he has dreamt of this moment for so long that he will accept nothing less than what he considers the perfect session. Again if the Mistress is not really bothered whether the sub's fantasy is turned into reality then it's probably not a big deal.> >
Also I suspect that a lot of guys who would consider themselves subs are really nothing of the sort and don't surrender any power when it > comes to the session. Mistress Nichole's recent blog about the guy whinging and moaning about what he was and wasn't allowed to do is a classic example of that.> >
I find it a bit of a dilemma visiting a prodomme because on the one hand I feel that I am going for a session as a sub and therefore I am there for the Mistress' enjoyment not mine and on the other hand there's a little voice saying "Hang on you're paying for this so you really want the session to be geared around your desires". In a way I guess that means I'm quite a true subbie; if I wasn't then I would be 100% focussed on what I wanted and not what the Mistress wanted.
Also I've found that if you click with a genuine Mistress who enjoys what she does, even if she is a ProDomme, then you will find she will give you a little extra time where possible and the relationship will feel much more fulfilling even though money is still changing hands at the end.> >
For me this is one of the big attractions of wanting to worship and serve Mistress Julie as I will be able to concentrate totally on pleasing her and meeting her needs without any fear of that little voice popping into my head and saying "You've only got 2 hours and this is costing you $500 or whatever".
The scope to really develop a strong and fulfilling relationship is so much greater in a non-> professional situation I think. It also means if either party is not happy with the way things are working out then they can just agree to part company or even walk away as for any vanilla relationship (unless you happened to be chained up at the time of course!!) On the other hand if the sub is paying for the session, and the Mistress needs his cash to pay this month's rent, then unless she is totally overwhelmed with subs she will often have to put up with a really unfulfilling session even though she'd love to tell him to fuck off!!> >
One thing I also hate is having a safe word - I know I will get shot down in flames by many people for saying that but for me it means that you haven't truly handed over power to your Mistress. You have the ultimate veto over what is done to you and, to me, that is anathema. I would much rather put myself totally in the hands of my Mistress and trust in her reading of my reactions and body language as to how much I can take. I realise that there is an element of risk in this but I would rather take that risk because for me to have a safe word would be a cop-out. Shit, what am I saying here??? I can already see Mistress Julie rubbing her hands with glee and saying "Right then, carte blanche with this one then!!"> >
Anyway enough of my ramblings - quite a serious post by my standards!!> > Love to hear anyone's comments either positive or negative.> > Cheers> > peter